How to Maintain Your Sanity When You're Home with Kids All Day

I have four kids. My oldest is 5. I stay home with them every day. To say that it gets crazy and frustrating and overwhelming is an understatement. The daily grind is...well, a grind.

My kids wake up around 6 or 6:30 am, but stay in their beds until 7:05. As soon as it’s time for them to come out of their rooms, the craziness begins. We have the same routine every morning, and apparently that means we must whine about the same exact things, fight over the same exact cups and argue over who gets to turn on the big light every single day.

It’s like their energy builds as they race down the stairs in the morning.

As a mom of four, it is constant. Breaking up arguments, teaching kids to use kind words, reminding to not whine, explaining why we don’t hit, asking to pick up toys, prompting to apologize, reminding to use the bathroom, wiping snotty noses, making meals and giving snacks, hugging, kissing owies, disciplining, cleaning up after…. Constant.

By the end of the day (let’s be real here, by the end of the first hour!), I am spent. I haphazardly stumble through our bedtime routine, reading only the first sentence of each page and skipping entire pages altogether. I get all of the kids into their beds, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to clean up from the days whirlwind.

There's got to be a better?!

And there is!!

If you’re anything like me, you’re tired of being tired. You want to not only make it until bedtime, you want to have energy and enjoy your kids throughout the day, and also not give your spouse your worn out, exhausted and depleted self.

Here’s how I manage to stay sane and have energy throughout the long days of staying home with kids:

1. Routine: I think the most important thing is to have a nice routine in place. It doesn’t have to be an hourly plan that you follow blindly. But have something in place for yourself and your kiddos so that you have time limits for things and everyone knows what’s coming next. Trust me, it’s a sanity saver! If you need some help on where to start, check out my sample schedules for toddlers and preschoolers or read about a day in the life which outlines a general daily routine we follow.

2. Quiet time: Insist on naptime/quiet time each day. This is essential. If you have babies or toddlers, they need to nap during the day. If you have kids that are no longer napping, insist on having quiet time. It benefits them greatly! They need that time to be alone, to play independently, and to learn how to play by themselves ( A fool proof way to get your preschooler to have quiet time).

3.Get out of the house: I don’t know what it is about getting out of the house, but it changes everything! When we are able to get out of the house in the morning, it gets the energetic cooped up craziness out of the kids. Sometimes we just go for a walk for 15 minutes, or I run a few errands with the kids in tow. But usually we try to plan playdates with friends or we go to the zoo (memberships and passes to fun kid friendly places are a great investment!) When I’m not able to get out with the kids, it shows. The kids act more wild and crazy and there is more whininess and complaining. Plus I tend to lose my cool and be less of a patient and kind person. Eek. Honesty.

4. Send the kids outside: With four kids in the house, I’ve learned to be okay with loud and crazy. But sometimes the noise and chaos can get out of control. Luckily for us, we have a great fenced in backyard and I feel comfortable letting the kids roam around back there. They basically have free reign of the place. With a swing set, a bounce house, and a whole slew of outside toys, the kids are able to entertain themselves for a long time (though they often whine about it being too hot and NEED to come inside.Tsk). When they start literally bouncing off of the walls and trying to jump on furniture, I tell them they are allowed to run and jump and do acrobatics outside!

5. Get active: When I am able to get some exercise I feel so much better. Finding time to workout when there are a few little people begging to be entertained can be quite the chore. But I’ve learned a great trick to get in some exercise AND entertain the littles! Include them in your workout. The kids will be beyond thrilled to get to do what you’re doing. I turn on a workout DVD and the kids will try to follow along. If you have a baby that keeps tripping you as you do your ridiculous moves, grab him up and hold him while you workout. Just be careful not to fall! When holding my little guy, I sometimes have to modify different moves. But the baby LOVES it! Another fun way to get in some exercise is simply to crank up the music and dance dance dance with your kids. They will LOVE it! My kids always ask to have dance parties. Taking walks around the block is a great way to get in some exercise and get out of the house.

6. Get yourself together: There are days when everyone will stay in their pajamas until bedtime and you won’t feel the fresh air on your face at all. That’s ok. These days happen. But for sanity’s sake, make sure these days are few and far between! Try to get yourself put together in the morning. You don’t necessarily have to put on make-up, but do get dressed (and no, I don’t mean yoga pants!) and maybe do something with that hair (mom bun!). Truthfully, when you look and feel good, you’ll most likely have a better day!

7. Have some “special occasion” activities: When I was pregnant with my 4th, there were some days when I really felt like I wouldn’t survive the entire day. I was exhausted!! On those particular days, I would load the kids up in the van (all safely buckled in their carseats) and I would give them a snack and a put on a movie. I would either park the van in the driveway and rest my weary body while the kids happily watched a movie and ate a snack, or I would drive around (and usually get some coffee!) and enjoy the (mostly) quiet afternoon. Sometimes a mom just needs a little break. So come up with a few creative “special occasion” activities and pull those out when you’re especially exhausted or feeling overwhelmed.

8. Take a “Time-In”: My oldest daughter is a strong-willed Blessing. With that comes ALL the emotions. She feels things in a big way. When this happens, and her emotions take control, I explain to her that she needs a “time-in”- where she takes a few minutes to be alone and get all of her emotions out. Everybody needs to take some time to be away from other people and collect themselves. My sweet 5 year old is an introvert at heart. She loves to be around her friends and does a great job in social situations, however she needs quiet alone time to recharge. She doesn’t quite understand this yet, but I remind her daily that when our emotions start to take control, we need to have a “time-in” to get back in control of ourselves. If you stay home with kids all day, the chances of you needing a “time-in” are pretty high. It’s okay to tell your kids that you’re taking a quick time-in to regain control of your emotions. Remember, you’re leading by example. You want your children to be able to handle their emotions in a healthy and positive way, so you need to do that too. So before you reach the point of complete frustration and overwhelm, take a time-in and regain that control!

9. Stay Connected: It can be emotionally depleting spending the entire day with tiny people you can’t exactly have a rational conversation with. Stay connected with other adults that you can really share your life with. For me, I have two close friends that live near me and are in the same stage of life I’m in. We can call or text each other about the ridiculous tantrum our toddler just threw in the middle of Target, or we can get together in the evenings and chat about the more serious and deep things going on in our lives.

I also have a couple of long-distance friends that I text daily. These girls are not all in the same exact life stage that I'm in, but their friendship is so very important. We tell each other the mundane and silly things we are doing throughout the day, but we also provide encouragement and accountability on a daily basis. These relationships are essential. Whether you are getting out of the house and meeting up with a friend for a play date or a coffee date, or you’re just talking to/texting a close friend throughout the day….you need to stay connected.

10. Remember why you do this: When I find myself getting overwhelmed and I’m growing increasingly frustrated with whatever the crazy situation is, I take a moment to remember how grateful I am to get to do this. The truth is, a lot of moms don’t have the option to stay at home with their kids. I am so thankful that I get to be at home with my Littles while they are still little. Yes, it can definitely get crazy and overwhelming at times, but when I put it into perspective it changes my mindset. I stay at home with my kids so that I can teach them what is important, so that I can model for them the kind of adult I want them to be, so that I can watch them grow and learn and try new things, so that I can soak up these itty bitty crazy fun years before they are no more. I love my crew, and I’m so thankful I get to experience these moments of wild and overwhelming and frustrating. Chances are, one day I’ll miss the simplicity of temper tantrums and diaper changes, because I’ve heard that the teenage years is a different kind of brutal!!

How to have a Sick Day when you're a Mom

Recently I was under. Not under the weather so much. Under the knife. Under anesthesia. Having my gallbladder somehow removed from four tiny cuts in my abdomen. The thought of how it actually happens makes me nauseous to think about. I’m sure I could google it. But I’ll spare myself the details, thank you very much.

As I came home from ridding myself of my diseased organ, I realized how very true it is that mom’s don’t get sick days. If I were working outside the home, I’d simply let my boss know I was having surgery and would be out for a week. But try telling that to your tiny bosses at home! Oh no!

My 5 year old boss is not normally a cuddly or clingy child, but tell her that mommy isn’t feeling well and needs to rest and she suddenly cannot get enough of you. My first day home was a blur. Thank you anesthesia and pain meds. But I do remember the kids all coming in the room crying because they wanted me to sing the night night song to them before bed.

Honestly, I don’t know if I sang the real song, how the words came out, did I even sing?! But whatever came out of me, the kids seemed content and I guess went to bed.

Or was I just dreaming?!

The next morning I decided to hang out in the living room so the kids could at least see me and know that I was still their mom. I felt terrible because I hadn’t held the baby in like 24 hours, and mommy guilt. All the mommy guilt. Of course, after ridding yourself of your nasty gallbladder, you’re not supposed to lift anything over 10 lbs. Insert chuckle here. We moms know that’s not even a thing. I held my sweet babe for a few minutes before he started to get all wiggly and then I remembered those four lovely incisions.

Anyway, my husband took off work over the weekend so he could be on mom duty. He did awesome! But then he had to go back to work on Monday. Sad face.

I stopped taking the really good pain meds because, well, it says not to operate heavy machinery while taking it, and I kind of feel like children are similar to heavy machinery. So.

When you’re under the weather as a mom, whether it be from surgery, you have a cold or some nasty disgusting stomach bug, you just need to take a break. But breaks are hard to come by as a mom because of those tiny bosses that control us.

Here's how to have a sick day when you're a mom:

Forget all the things: Don’t even worry yourself with laundry and dishes and toys piling up in the weirdest places in the house. Those pesky little things the kids do that for the life of you you can’t figure out why it bothers you...yeah, let those go. For me (and forgive me for being so weird), it’s pillows. The kids LOVE to scatter all the pillows around the house and I can’t figure out why. And I can’t figure out why it’s so annoying to me! But they do it. Day in and day out they do it. Pillows everywhere. Why do we have so many pillows?!

But whatever is going on, let it happen. Unless, of course, it’s a hazard. Then yeah, obviously worry about that. Maybe do something about it too.

For real though, forget all the things because you need to rest and the dishes and laundry can wait.

Tell the little bosses the plan: After my surgery I had to tell the kids that mommy doesn’t feel well so I’m not going to be able to do all the things. I had to tell them that I couldn’t hold them like I normally do, that I couldn’t play with them or take them anywhere. I could read them books though!

Convenience Trumps the Mom of the Year Award: I know we moms strive to be the best and do the best for our tiny crew of people. We want to make sure they are eating healthy, not having too much screen time, getting in plenty of outdoor time and physical activity, blah blah blah. Sick days have no time for such things. Toss out the handbook that says your kids need scrambled eggs for breakfast, fancy organic vegetarian thingamajigs for lunch and a delicious made-from-scratch gourmet dinner that all the kids actually eat and enjoy.

Set out a box of breakfast bars and toss some cheerios on the table. Breakfast. Put cups out for them and make it easy for them to get their own water. Have some easy to reach snacks in the fridge or on the counter that they can just grab. I put apples, grapes, carrots and cheese sticks all on a low shelf in the fridge. And have easy things like fruit snacks and peanut butter crackers in a basket on the counter.

Typically lunch is all the fruit and little snacks. It is what it is. It’s not every day and I’m not going to let mommy guilt kick in over a day or two of snacking all day in place of real meals.

For dinner...order out or make frozen pizza. Do whatever is easiest and most convenient. Typically the hubs will stop at the store on his way home from work and grab something easy. Who cares. We are trying to survive here.

Put the television on and let it do it’s job. Your kids will not be worse for the wear after a day or two of mostly tv interaction. If they’re a little bit older, have crayons and paper/coloring books out on the table and let them color to their hearts content. Props if you can get them to make you a ‘feel better’ picture!

For the little ones, really baby proof an area and make that the baby zone. For me, it was the living room and play room. I closed all the other doors and put up gates so our little guy couldn’t get into anything. I barricaded the end tables and fireplace with ALL those pillows. I may or may not have tossed a few cheerios on the floor ;-|

Try to make it special for them: Since taking a ‘sick day’ is so rare, I leave the mommy-guilt behind and try to just make it a special once-in-a-while treat for the kids. Yeah, my sickness is a treat to them. Mom’s are so awesome.

We basically have a movie/tv show marathon and they get to do all the things (most of the things) I never let them do; watch endless t.v., eat junk for meals, snack all the day long. I say things along the lines of “You get to have a fun kids day today and do all the fun things. Mommy is just going to rest here while you kids have so much fun!”

Get Comfortable: You know we moms never get out of our pajamas all day long anyway. Well pick out your MOST comfortable pair, make the couch a cozy haven, and place all of your sick person necessities within arms reach (but preferably out of reach of the tykes!). Lock all the doors, close the curtains, dim the lights and STAY PUT as much as possible. Like on Daniel Tiger “When you’re sick rest is best, rest is best”. (Gosh I need to get out more...)

Insist on Nap/Quiet Time: In our normal daily routine we have an allotted nap/quiet time. My 9 month old and 2 year old both take an afternoon nap at the same time. While they are sleeping, my 3 year old and 5 year old have quiet time alone. They stay in their own rooms for one hour and then I let them watch something until the other two wake up. It’s typically a glorious two hours of quiet.

Having this allotted time is really nice when I’m not sick. But it’s 10 times better when I’m feeling under the weather because I can literally lay on the couch for nearly two hours without worrying about small people getting into things or getting hurt.

Obviously this is much easier said than done. Babies can’t change their own diapers or get their own food. Potty training kiddos can’t just suddenly start going on their own. And no matter how much you try to baby/kid proof your designated area, someone is still likely to get hurt. As a mom, you’re still going to need to be a mom and attend to your kid’s needs and wants.

BUT if you can set it up to be as easy and convenient as possible, you’ll get a little more rest than normal.

For me, it wasn’t easy recovering from surgery with 4 kids. I was just not feeling the normal everyday mom activities. But setting the kids up to be independent and have a fun ‘kids day’, and settling my frail body on the couch for the duration of the day was a real life saver.

How do YOU survive sick days with kids in tow?!