Teach Your Preschooler to Pray

Our kids will naturally begin to do what we do. Have you ever heard something come out of your child’s mouth and you thought “Yikes! Is that really what I sound like?!”

And then there are moments when your preschooler repeats something you’ve said and it just blesses your heart and makes you want to text your mom and tell her that you’re actually killing it at this parenting thing!

The other night we had a friend over for dinner. In our house, we pray before we eat, and so the kids waited patiently (odd!) while everyone settled into their seats, and our usual question of “who wants to pray” was met with a unexpected “I do!” from our 4 year old.

In complete astonishment and absolute amazement, we sat there and listened to him recite the Lord’s Prayer verbatim. It was a proud moment for sure. We have periodically said the Lord’s Prayer before a meal, but it’s definitely not something we do every single day. And it’s not even one of those verses we’ve had the kids memorize. So for him to say the entire thing, on his own, without any help, was utterly amazing!

When we do things on a regular basis, our kids pick up on that and they naturally do it too. Praying is something that is essential to our faith and in our home. We make it a priority. We try not to force our children to do it if they don’t want to, but we do give them ample opportunity to pray, whether it is on their own or repeating after us (like with the Lord’s prayer).  

This week my 2 year old was sick; runny nose, fever, just a general sense of not feeling well. My 4 and 5 year old decided they wanted to take care of her, so when I was putting her down for a nap, they took turns telling her a story and singing her a “goodnight song”. As they were kissing her goodnight, my 4 year old said “we should pray for her” and then laid hands on her little body and said “Dear God, please bless her and help her to feel better. Amen!”

His little heart is full of compassion for his siblings and a love for the Lord. But how do we cultivate that? And how do we even get to the point where their instinct is prayer?

 I believe that we need to model for our children the act of prayer and we need to point back to God when prayers are answered. It’s hard for little ones to understand what prayer is and why we do it when they can’t tangibly see the result.

This may seem like a silly example, but I believe this was the turning point for our 4 year old when it comes to understanding prayer: It was Halloween and it was raining. The forecast was rain all day and evening. The kids were bummed because I told them if it was still raining after dinner, we wouldn’t be able to go trick-or-treating. I mean, we aren’t die hard Halloween fans. We just love dressing up and getting free candy! For us, rain = no go.

I told the kids we should pray that it stops raining so we can go. My husband thought it was silly to pray for Halloween. And yeah, I get it. But it’s fun for the kids, and who knows, God works in mysterious ways.

All day it rained. No let up. When I picked the kids up from preschool, we talked about the rain and how we probably wouldn’t get to go trick-or-treating, but we should pray that the rain would stop so we could go. I could hear the kids praying in the back of the van.

I checked the forecast again. Still supposed to rain all evening.

And then! Right after dinner, as if on cue, the rain stopped.

Completely stopped. It was still pretty wet outside, and looked a little ominous. But zero rain.

I was overjoyed!

Not because I love Halloween or I’m a sugar addict or dressing the kids up in matching costumes is the reason my heart beats (it is).

But because this was a clear answer to the kids prayer, and I could tangibly point this back to God.

Okay, yes, I get that some will say it was just a coincidence. Or even praying for something like Halloween is silly and trivial (and is it even Christian to participate in Halloween anyway?!). But the truth is, it DID point back to God and the kids were able to see that God cares about everything, even the little things.

When you are teaching your children to pray, eventually they will need to see the fruit of their prayers. Otherwise, they won’t understand. They won’t know what prayer really is or why we do it. As they get older, we can explain more in depth about what prayer is, that God doesn’t operate on our timeline, that prayer is multi-faceted, and even quite mysterious.

But for now, we stick with the basics.

What is prayer // Prayer is simply talking to God. We can talk to God like we talk to each other.

What do we pray // When we talk to God, we thank Him. He has given us everything, so we can thank Him for everything. We can ask Him for help. If we are sick, we can ask Him to make us better. If we are scared, we can ask Him to take away our scaries.

When do we pray // Make it part of your normal routine. Pick a certain time of day that you always pray. In our house, it’s before dinner. Other people pray at bedtime. My husband and I pray together each morning before he leaves for work. The kids are invited to join us, but regardless if they do or not, they see and hear us praying together regularly. Find a way to incorporate it into your family each day, and watch how it impacts your children.

How do we get kids to pray // Like any new thing, kids are often hesitant to try it. Start off by simply praying yourself. Tell your kids what you’re doing -- “I am going to pray now, and thank God for what He has given us”. Let them see that it is a normal part of your life. Incorporate prayer in regularly. When your toddler is afraid to go to bed, say “Let’s pray about this and ask Jesus for help. Dear Jesus, Eliza is feeling scared in her room right now. Please take away all of the scaries and throw them far far away. Help Eliza to not be scared because you are here with her and you are protecting her. Thank you Jesus! Amen”.

Then begin asking them if they’d like to pray. If they say no, that’s okay. Don’t force the issue. Try doing a corporate prayer (like the Lord’s Prayer) and have the kids repeat after you. Or have them repeat something simple like “Dear God, thank you for this food. Amen”. Keep it simple.

It took a long time for our kids to start praying on their own. You have to build their confidence. And let them know that they can talk to God about anything.

One of my favorite things about teaching our kids to pray is actually what I have learned from this experience. At first, you teach the basics. You look for opportunities to pray // little things, big things, silly things (Halloween, anybody?), all the things. And suddenly you begin praying about all of your normal daily things, because it’s become a habit to take everything to God.

Before starting this whole prayer thing with our kids, I got in a prayer slump. I would pray before meals, pray before bed, and pray when a friend asked me to. I would pray for big things, or life's crazy circumstances, or just things that were out of my control. But what praying with the kids has taught me, is that God really does care about the little things.

When you ask my kids what prayer is, they will say it’s just talking to God. How quickly I forget that! Yes, prayer is simply talking to God. I don’t just need to pray when I need something. I need to pray/talk to God throughout the day, just like I would with my husband or a close friend.

So if you’re trying to figure out how to teach your little ones to pray, simply start by praying! And before you know it, they will be the ones saying “let’s pray about that!”.

How to Maintain Your Sanity When You're Home with Kids All Day

I have four kids. My oldest is 5. I stay home with them every day. To say that it gets crazy and frustrating and overwhelming is an understatement. The daily grind is...well, a grind.

My kids wake up around 6 or 6:30 am, but stay in their beds until 7:05. As soon as it’s time for them to come out of their rooms, the craziness begins. We have the same routine every morning, and apparently that means we must whine about the same exact things, fight over the same exact cups and argue over who gets to turn on the big light every single day.

It’s like their energy builds as they race down the stairs in the morning.

As a mom of four, it is constant. Breaking up arguments, teaching kids to use kind words, reminding to not whine, explaining why we don’t hit, asking to pick up toys, prompting to apologize, reminding to use the bathroom, wiping snotty noses, making meals and giving snacks, hugging, kissing owies, disciplining, cleaning up after…. Constant.

By the end of the day (let’s be real here, by the end of the first hour!), I am spent. I haphazardly stumble through our bedtime routine, reading only the first sentence of each page and skipping entire pages altogether. I get all of the kids into their beds, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to clean up from the days whirlwind.

There's got to be a better?!

And there is!!

If you’re anything like me, you’re tired of being tired. You want to not only make it until bedtime, you want to have energy and enjoy your kids throughout the day, and also not give your spouse your worn out, exhausted and depleted self.

Here’s how I manage to stay sane and have energy throughout the long days of staying home with kids:

1. Routine: I think the most important thing is to have a nice routine in place. It doesn’t have to be an hourly plan that you follow blindly. But have something in place for yourself and your kiddos so that you have time limits for things and everyone knows what’s coming next. Trust me, it’s a sanity saver! If you need some help on where to start, check out my sample schedules for toddlers and preschoolers or read about a day in the life which outlines a general daily routine we follow.

2. Quiet time: Insist on naptime/quiet time each day. This is essential. If you have babies or toddlers, they need to nap during the day. If you have kids that are no longer napping, insist on having quiet time. It benefits them greatly! They need that time to be alone, to play independently, and to learn how to play by themselves ( A fool proof way to get your preschooler to have quiet time).

3.Get out of the house: I don’t know what it is about getting out of the house, but it changes everything! When we are able to get out of the house in the morning, it gets the energetic cooped up craziness out of the kids. Sometimes we just go for a walk for 15 minutes, or I run a few errands with the kids in tow. But usually we try to plan playdates with friends or we go to the zoo (memberships and passes to fun kid friendly places are a great investment!) When I’m not able to get out with the kids, it shows. The kids act more wild and crazy and there is more whininess and complaining. Plus I tend to lose my cool and be less of a patient and kind person. Eek. Honesty.

4. Send the kids outside: With four kids in the house, I’ve learned to be okay with loud and crazy. But sometimes the noise and chaos can get out of control. Luckily for us, we have a great fenced in backyard and I feel comfortable letting the kids roam around back there. They basically have free reign of the place. With a swing set, a bounce house, and a whole slew of outside toys, the kids are able to entertain themselves for a long time (though they often whine about it being too hot and NEED to come inside.Tsk). When they start literally bouncing off of the walls and trying to jump on furniture, I tell them they are allowed to run and jump and do acrobatics outside!

5. Get active: When I am able to get some exercise I feel so much better. Finding time to workout when there are a few little people begging to be entertained can be quite the chore. But I’ve learned a great trick to get in some exercise AND entertain the littles! Include them in your workout. The kids will be beyond thrilled to get to do what you’re doing. I turn on a workout DVD and the kids will try to follow along. If you have a baby that keeps tripping you as you do your ridiculous moves, grab him up and hold him while you workout. Just be careful not to fall! When holding my little guy, I sometimes have to modify different moves. But the baby LOVES it! Another fun way to get in some exercise is simply to crank up the music and dance dance dance with your kids. They will LOVE it! My kids always ask to have dance parties. Taking walks around the block is a great way to get in some exercise and get out of the house.

6. Get yourself together: There are days when everyone will stay in their pajamas until bedtime and you won’t feel the fresh air on your face at all. That’s ok. These days happen. But for sanity’s sake, make sure these days are few and far between! Try to get yourself put together in the morning. You don’t necessarily have to put on make-up, but do get dressed (and no, I don’t mean yoga pants!) and maybe do something with that hair (mom bun!). Truthfully, when you look and feel good, you’ll most likely have a better day!

7. Have some “special occasion” activities: When I was pregnant with my 4th, there were some days when I really felt like I wouldn’t survive the entire day. I was exhausted!! On those particular days, I would load the kids up in the van (all safely buckled in their carseats) and I would give them a snack and a put on a movie. I would either park the van in the driveway and rest my weary body while the kids happily watched a movie and ate a snack, or I would drive around (and usually get some coffee!) and enjoy the (mostly) quiet afternoon. Sometimes a mom just needs a little break. So come up with a few creative “special occasion” activities and pull those out when you’re especially exhausted or feeling overwhelmed.

8. Take a “Time-In”: My oldest daughter is a strong-willed Blessing. With that comes ALL the emotions. She feels things in a big way. When this happens, and her emotions take control, I explain to her that she needs a “time-in”- where she takes a few minutes to be alone and get all of her emotions out. Everybody needs to take some time to be away from other people and collect themselves. My sweet 5 year old is an introvert at heart. She loves to be around her friends and does a great job in social situations, however she needs quiet alone time to recharge. She doesn’t quite understand this yet, but I remind her daily that when our emotions start to take control, we need to have a “time-in” to get back in control of ourselves. If you stay home with kids all day, the chances of you needing a “time-in” are pretty high. It’s okay to tell your kids that you’re taking a quick time-in to regain control of your emotions. Remember, you’re leading by example. You want your children to be able to handle their emotions in a healthy and positive way, so you need to do that too. So before you reach the point of complete frustration and overwhelm, take a time-in and regain that control!

9. Stay Connected: It can be emotionally depleting spending the entire day with tiny people you can’t exactly have a rational conversation with. Stay connected with other adults that you can really share your life with. For me, I have two close friends that live near me and are in the same stage of life I’m in. We can call or text each other about the ridiculous tantrum our toddler just threw in the middle of Target, or we can get together in the evenings and chat about the more serious and deep things going on in our lives.

I also have a couple of long-distance friends that I text daily. These girls are not all in the same exact life stage that I'm in, but their friendship is so very important. We tell each other the mundane and silly things we are doing throughout the day, but we also provide encouragement and accountability on a daily basis. These relationships are essential. Whether you are getting out of the house and meeting up with a friend for a play date or a coffee date, or you’re just talking to/texting a close friend throughout the day….you need to stay connected.

10. Remember why you do this: When I find myself getting overwhelmed and I’m growing increasingly frustrated with whatever the crazy situation is, I take a moment to remember how grateful I am to get to do this. The truth is, a lot of moms don’t have the option to stay at home with their kids. I am so thankful that I get to be at home with my Littles while they are still little. Yes, it can definitely get crazy and overwhelming at times, but when I put it into perspective it changes my mindset. I stay at home with my kids so that I can teach them what is important, so that I can model for them the kind of adult I want them to be, so that I can watch them grow and learn and try new things, so that I can soak up these itty bitty crazy fun years before they are no more. I love my crew, and I’m so thankful I get to experience these moments of wild and overwhelming and frustrating. Chances are, one day I’ll miss the simplicity of temper tantrums and diaper changes, because I’ve heard that the teenage years is a different kind of brutal!!

A Foolproof Way to get Your Toddler to have Quiet Time

Quiet time.

I used to roll my eyes when I heard or read about  moms talking about how much they loved quiet time. Quiet time? What’s that?! My kids are NEVER quiet. How could they get their toddler or preschooler to be quiet for any amount of time?

I was dumbfounded and slightly annoyed that my kids wouldn’t do the quiet time thing.

I eventually clued in on some pretty basic, but genius, ways to get kids to not only have quiet time, but to ask for it.

First, hype it up! I realized that if I got super enthusiastic about having quiet time and I found a way to make it enticing, the kids would follow suite.

Give them a huge incentive! I told them that quiet time is awesome because they get to play with whatever they want and.... here's the kicker....they DON’T HAVE TO SHARE!!

Let’s just be honest, that’s pretty important to kids with several siblings. I can’t tell you how many times an HOUR my kids fight over the same toy. Usually I have to say something along the lines of “please share, or nobody gets to play with it”, or “if you keep fighting over it, I’m putting it away!”. You would think that by now my kids would understand and one of them would relinquish the object and go find something else.

Nope.

The fighting usually gets worse. Power struggles. Ah, the young age of trying to figure out how to get control and give yourself whatever your self darn well pleases.

It’s usually about that time that one of them will ask to play quietly in their own room. I pretend like I’m really thinking hard about it, contemplating this serious question, unsure of what to decide. “Hmmm….I don’t know….didn’t you have quiet time yesterday?” Eventually I concur that “Yes, quiet time sounds like a great idea! I’m so glad you thought of that!” And off to their rooms they go.

But if your kids still protest being alone in their rooms (my 3 year old hated being by himself for any length of time), here are some tips on how to get your kids to stay in their rooms:

Be consistent. We have quiet time at the same time every day. It’s right after lunch when the two youngest are taking their afternoon nap. It’s just what we do. Every time. Without fail.

As we continue to implement a routine day after day, the kids just naturally fall in line. They may fight it at first, and even whine about it from day to day, but kid’s actually need routine. It helps them to know what’s coming next.

Be adamant. It’s natural for kids to try their hand at bucking the system. They want to see what they can get away with, how far they can push the boundaries. But if you’re set on the kids having quiet time each day, then be adamant about it.

The first couple of days may not include any amount of quiet at all. Mine sure didn’t. My 3 year old cried off and on almost the entire time. He kept coming out of his room. Eventually I had to put up a gate in his doorway. Which he decided to climb over. I wanted to just give up.

But I didn’t. I made it part of our daily routine, and I was adamant that he was going to stay in his room. And now...he simply goes into his room after lunch. I actually don’t even need to say anything about it. He’ll occasionally come out and ask if quiet time is over, but the crying and the whining have stopped.

Be affirmative. When you hear them playing nicely in their room, let them know how proud you are of them. When quiet time is over, tell them that they did an awesome job staying in there the whole time and that you love how well they played by themselves. Express how cool it was that they got to play with all the toys and do whatever they wanted, and that quiet time is so great because of that!

A few other tips:

Have them clean up after quiet time is over. Kids can make a mess, even if it’s just one kid in one room. My kids know that they have to clean up their toys before they can come out. That might mean they spend another 30 minutes in there playing. Obviously I don’t mind that one bit. But before they can do the next thing, the room needs to be picked up.

Be mindful of what they are doing. I made the mistake of not checking on my 3 year old. I could hear him in there playing, and the door was open, so I assumed all was well. All was NOT well. He consumed a whole tube of maximum strength desitin. Ugh! And in case you find yourself in the same predicament as I did, maximum strength desitin is NOT poisonous! Even if you consume an entire 4 oz tube. A quick call to poison control eased this mama’s fears and I was told that it could simply cause diarrhea. But lesson learned! If it’s a little too quiet during quiet time...go see why!