The Kind of Parenting that Forces you to Pray

There are moments in parenting when experience runs out.

The books don't have an answer.

The advice you've collected doesn't fit.

The consequence that worked with a different kid doesn't work with this one.

The conversation you rehearsed in your head falls flat before it even begins.

You stand in your kitchen—or your hallway, or outside a locked bedroom door—and realize you have absolutely no idea what to do next.

I've had more of those moments than I can count.

Not because I'm a bad mom.

Not because my kids are "too much."

Simply because God has entrusted me with children who require me to parent differently than I ever imagined.

Some of my children feel the world more deeply. Some need more structure. Some need more reassurance. Some need more movement. Some need me to repeat the same lesson a hundred times before it sticks.

And somewhere along the way, I realized something surprising.

The hardest part wasn't learning how to parent them.

It was learning that I couldn't do it without God.

I used to think good parents always knew what to do.

Now I think good parents know where to go when they don't.

I've prayed in laundry rooms because I needed thirty seconds before walking back into the chaos.

I've whispered, "Lord, help me," while stirring macaroni and cheese because there wasn't time for anything longer.

I've asked God for wisdom after saying the wrong thing, for patience after losing mine, for compassion when I was running on empty.

And do you know what I've discovered?

He rarely hands me a detailed parenting manual.

Instead, He gives me enough grace for the next moment.

Enough patience for the next conversation.

Enough wisdom for the next decision.

Enough mercy to apologize when I get it wrong.

Enough love to begin again.

I still wish some days were easier.

I still pray for breakthroughs.

I still ask God to change circumstances that feel impossibly heavy.

But I've also started thanking Him for something I never expected.

These children—the ones who have stretched me the most—have also drawn me closer to Jesus than I ever would have come on my own.

Not because the hard is good.

But because God is.

Maybe today you're standing in your own kitchen wondering what to do next.

Maybe you're exhausted from meeting needs that no one else sees.

Maybe you're praying the same prayer you've prayed a hundred times before.

I don't know what you're carrying today.

But I do know this:

God has never asked us to parent from a place of having all the answers.

He invites us to parent from dependence.

And maybe that's the glimmer of grace.

Not that every hard thing suddenly becomes easy...

...but that every hard thing becomes another invitation to know Him more.

If that's true, then perhaps the places we most wish we could escape are the very places where God is doing His deepest work.

So this week, when parenting feels especially heavy, don't just ask God to change your circumstances.

Ask Him to help you notice His presence there.

Sometimes the greatest glimmers of grace aren't found after the storm has passed.

Sometimes they're found right in the middle of it.

When the hard keeps bringing me back to God

Some days, life feels like a long, uphill climb. The challenges pile up, and I can feel myself running on empty. Parenting eight kids — with all the joys, quirks, and curveballs that come with it — is beautiful, but it is hard. And it’s in those hard moments that I most often find myself running back to God.

It’s funny — I don’t always notice the grace in the easy moments, but the hard ones? They force me to look, to lean, to surrender. And that’s where I see Him moving the most.

Some days it’s a morning that starts with spilled cereal, arguments over who gets to sit where, or someone refusing to put on shoes — and before you know it, the whole house is chaotic. Other days it’s navigating homework battles with multiple kids at once, or helping a child calm down when overstimulation has them on the verge of meltdown.

Then there are moments with your foster or adopted children — when attachment struggles or big emotions push boundaries in ways you didn’t anticipate. Or that gut-wrenching feeling when you realize one of your kids feels left out because everyone else is busy, even though you’re trying your best to make things fair.

Grace sometimes shows up in these exact moments. A sibling suddenly comforting another, a surprise laugh that breaks tension, or a tiny breakthrough in a child who has been struggling for weeks, a kiddo that actually slept through the night. These moments remind me that God is present, not in spite of the chaos, but through it.

Parenting a large, busy, and beautifully messy family stretches me in ways I never expected. It strips away control and forces reliance on Him. The challenges don’t disappear, but His grace meets me in the cracks: in laughter amidst tears, in patience when I thought I had none left, and in small, unexpected victories that remind me life — even hard life — can be full of His presence.

Grace isn’t always soft or quiet. Sometimes it’s in the loud, messy, and unpredictable moments that we discover the depth of His love. And sometimes it’s the struggle itself that draws us closest to Him.

If you’re parenting through chaos, juggling multiple needs, or feeling stretched beyond what you thought was possible, know this: God meets you there too. He is present in the hard mornings, the sibling spats, the tears, and the victories — all of it. Look for the glimmers. They’re there, even if you don’t see them at first, and they will remind you that you are never truly alone.

What I mean when I say "Glimmers of Grace":

Sometimes, life feels messy, hard, and full of challenges — the kind of challenges that push us to our limits and remind us how much we need God. In those moments, it can be easy to feel like He is quiet or distant.

But over the years, I’ve learned that God’s grace often shines brightest in the unexpected, hard, and sometimes painful places. These are the moments that draw me back to Him, that remind me I cannot do this on my own, and that His love is deeper than I can imagine.

These are what I call glimmers of grace.

Noticing Grace in the Deep Stuff

A glimmer of grace isn’t always small or fleeting. Sometimes it’s the big, hard, holy moments that teach me most about God. For example:

• Seeing God’s hand in the chaos of challenging behaviors from my children, and being drawn back to Him again and again

• Finding unexpected strength and patience in seasons of parenting, even when I feel stretched thin

• Experiencing moments of clarity, peace, or encouragement during transitions and life changes I never planned for

• Recognizing growth and learning in my children — even in their struggles — and seeing God at work in their hearts

These moments don’t erase the hard things. They don’t make the pain disappear. But they are reminders that God is at work, often in ways we can’t see at first.

Sometimes a glimmer of grace looks like standing in the kitchen after a long day, holding back tears, and realizing that the only reason I haven’t quit is because God has been quietly sustaining me all along.

Sometimes it looks like a child who has struggled deeply — emotionally, behaviorally, or socially — taking one small step forward. Not a miracle. Not a sudden change. Just progress. Enough to remind me that growth is happening, even when it’s slow.

And sometimes it looks like realizing that the very things stretching me the most are also the things keeping me closest to God — because I don’t have the luxury of self-sufficiency anymore.

Grace in the Unexpected

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as a parent, foster mom, homeschooler, and wife is that God’s grace is always at work, especially in the places we never planned for. It shows up when life isn’t what we expected — in the challenges, the detours, the moments that feel overwhelming.

Whether it’s a difficult child teaching me patience and dependence on God, a surprising breakthrough in a relationship, or a small moment that shifts perspective in a big way, these deeper glimmers of grace are constant reminders that God’s love and provision are real and active.

A Challenge to You

Today, I invite you to notice the glimmers of grace in your own life — not just the little things, but the deeper, harder, and unexpected moments too. Look for where God is moving through challenges, change, or loss. Pay attention to the ways He is bringing life, growth, and healing even in situations that felt overwhelming.

Even in the chaos. Even in the unexpected. Even in the hard.

Because that is where God meets us — in the ordinary, the messy, and the deeply challenging places.

If you notice a glimmer today, I’d love to hear about it. You can share in the comments or keep a small journal. These moments will surprise you, encourage you, and remind you that grace is always closer than we think.

— Sarah